Santa’s Village – Derailing The Magic Train
Archive - Andrew's JunkAuthor: Andrew Traweek
I’m sure you’ve all noticed by now that I was never the picture-perfect employee. The truth is, while I did pull a lot of crazy antics, I was always a great employee when it came to doing my job. I have never endangered guests. Other employees however, were fair game.
It was early November when I put in for a transfer due to knee problems derived from running the Monorail solo every day for six-months. I got moved back to the Merry-Go-Round for a week until a supervisor noticed the wincing and hopping I did when jumping off the ride after starting it. (The Start/E-stop button was in the center, and we were not allowed to stand in the center or ride, so we had to cross.)
I guess he told the manager, and I was moved over to the Magic Train. Ed had left after running that train for nearly 20 years. Since I was one of the few old enough to run it, they figured that was the best place to put me.
I loved running that attraction. All I had to do was drive the stupid thing around the track all day. I also got an hour-long break instead of 30-minutes. Sweeeeeeet.
About a week had gone by, and I was loving every minute of it. My friend Mike always ditched work and hung out with me. I think that’s what made it so fun. Mike and I always skated together, had the same classes, and we were damn-near twins both in looks, and our demented personalities. I guess that’s why we always traveled in pairs. Plus, if Management were ever on to us, Mike made a great scapegoat.
One day, I came to work as always. I had actually come in early so I could shovel the snow from the track. I knew Mike had already been there because there were logs and rocks on the tracks. Of course, I saw these and promptly removed them.
The typical pre-flight checks went on. Fuel check. Brake Check. Whistle Check. I was on my way. I pulled the train slowly out of the tunnel, and brought her into the station.
There I routinely oiled it, and checked the couplings to the other cars. Finally, I set out on my first warm-up run of the day. I could feel the wheels slipping on the ice that had formed on the track. I stopped, grabbed my bucket of sand, and spread it on the next 30-feet of track. Moved on. Stopped. Did it again. My first run ended about 15-minutes later, and I set out on the first unobstructed run of the day.
‘TOOT-TOOT!’ went the whistle as I pulled out of the station. Before long, I learned how to crudely replicate Disney songs with that whistle. But that’s beside the point.
I soon made my way up to the tunnel… into the blackness… then out into the bright winter sunlight.
About that time, I hear something like “Origatamasu-hay-YAH!” and see Mike running down from the hill. I kept going, and told him to hop on. He waited until the last car had passed him, and attempted an Indiana Jones move and swing on to the back.
All I heard was BOOM.BOOM..BOOMBOOMBOOOMM! as each car from the back toppled over. Mike had jumped free and was looking on from the exit of the tunnel with his mouth wide-open. Then he bolted. I don’t know where he went, but I was stuck in plain view with a derailed train.
I had no clue how to go about telling the front office about this. So naturally, I played dumb. “I dunno what happened. I was just making my morning run, and it derailed!”
I had them believing that a chunk of ice had caused it, so I got off. Literally. I didn’t have to work that day. I got put on custodial duty, which means I ran around with Mike and acted like an idiot the rest of the day.
After that, I ended up moving back to the Monorail. There’s no way to derail that thing! Right? Hehehehe, well… We’ll save that for another article.
The moral of this story? If you’re going to derail a train, do it with some style!