Westcoaster Subscription Service
Archive - Comedy RoadtripAuthor: Andrew Traweek
Westcoaster.net is pleased to announce a new way to experience your favorite site. Beginning June 1st, 2005, Westcoaster will be offering a very special membership-based subscription for the low, low, lower than low price of just $29.99 a month. That’s just about a dollar a day! Why spend that dollar a day on some kid halfway across the world who you’ll never see? Do they really need polio vaccinations that bad? SUBSCRIBE NOW!
What you’ll get:
1 full month of access to our top-of-the-line member facilities. This includes a foosball table, unlimited use of the vending machine, and a big screen TV!
Your name will appear at the top of the website when you log in! In BIG BOLD LETTERS even!
You’ll be automatically entered for special offers from penile enlargement, dateless loser, and bail bonds services! SCORE!
Access to our member-exclusive hit-list generator! While others may keep track records, we’ll keep your list of enemies right at your fingertips!
Access to our vast pay-per-view softcore coaster porn archives!
Access to our one-stop Photoshop generator for Photoshop contests! Pre-programmed with over 10,000 petty cliches, you’re bound to win each and every contest!
Exclusive limited-edition fanboy chastity belt with super-ACEr retardant holster!
You’ll be automatically entered into the sexual offender database, and will receive your very own certificate of sexually offensive authenticity!
1 12oz. can of our patented Super ACEr Retardant Deoderant.
The ability to change the text color in your forum username! Wicked!
Subscription to our bi-decade annual newsletter!
Access to special director’s commentary in each and every update!
A 2-disc ‘Making of: Westcoaster.net’ DVD collection with over 12 hours of never-before-seen footage of Andrew sitting at the computer!
‘The Man Behind the Myth: James Disney’ featurette!
A special map to Robb Alvey’s House!
0.10% less popups and ads on the site!
Other sites may offer membership benefits, but Westcoaster.net goes out of it’s way to make you the coolest member on the internets EVAR! Don’t be fooled by cheap imitators! They can’t, and WON’T offer a deal like this!
This is a limited time offer, so don’t delay! Get your membership today!