Crap Balloons and Misty May’s Butt
Wednesday Web RoundupAuthor: James Disney
Congrats… it’s the middle of the week and you’ve managed to not kill anyone… you haven’t run down the middle of the street wearing only a sock while screaming “I’M A DIRTY GIRL DADDY!!” (or have you?).
So what does this mean to you? You’re probably sitting there wondering what the hell this post is about… why you’re reading it… and probably to a larger extent, wondering why you’re still reading Westcoaster after all this time. Well, here’s what it means for you: a new feature full of love, passion and mystery. Or maybe just a random blog posting each week to show you all the random things you should be reading, staring at, buying, etc. It’s the Wednesday Web Roundup!
Ready? Well… probably not, but here we go anyway!
Giant Dog Turd Damages Orphanage!
I, for one, can and never will get enough stories about massive feces wrecking homes and people’s lives. I’m sick of natural disasters like rivers overflowing their banks… I mean… it’s water. We bathe in water… water’s kind of a weak way to go. If water comes at you… you swim. But if a 50 ton ball of crap slams into your house… now that’s life altering… you can’t swim in sh*t.
Mugger Dressed As Winnie The Pooh Caught
If there was any question about whether or not they are trying to take over… this is the proof! First they take out Steve Irwin… then that lady on a boat. That’s it humanity… it’s time to declare war on Stingrays!
Retards Get Upset At Tropic Thunder
How To Make A Baptism Awesome by Joss Stone
I’ve decided something after reading the Joss Stone story… there is a very sad lack of head butting in our culture. In other countries it’s practically a way of saying “Hi, how are you today… I love you.” But here in the United States, we’re really kinda lame like that. We insist on firm hand shakes, pats on the back, man hugs and just general fruity ways of expressing ourselves. I propose that we change the standard method of greeting one another from a hand shake to a skull distorting head butt. Imagine walking up to your grandma and clockin’ her one so hard that she falls on her ass, out cold. Hell, if she can’t take it maybe she’s not the kind of person you should associate with… just sayin’. Why live life associating with pansies… it’ll only bring you down.
This next link basically gave me an excuse to post this picture… you’re welcome.
Hayden Panettiere’s Dad Arrested
In one of the more Presidential things we’ve seen him do, here’s President Bush um… gesturing at Misty May-Treanor’s ass. I’m personally just glad this photo didn’t involve the “Womens” (read: little girls) gymnastics team. Replace Misty May with a 16 year old girl and the photo suddenly gets much, much creepier! USA USA USA!
Last but not least… a really, really addicting game
Well, that’s it for this week… hope this distracted you from your responsibilities long enough to forget that it’s only Wednesday! Check back next week for more fun!
-J