Flippin’ Chipmunk and Pegasus for sale!
Wednesday Web RoundupAuthor: James Disney
Welcome to this week’s edition of random stuff to read and stuff to stare at… this time we take a long and interesting look at the world of competitive idiots, the mating cycle of gnats and hell… I dunno. Just read, click the links and enjoy the stories…
Kid quits high school to work on Guitar Hero career…
So where to start? Basically, this 16 year old kid has become exactly what South Park was parodying! Never mind that the time he spends playing his plastic piece of crap, he could probably learn something actually useful in this world. Rather, he’ll try to make money off a game that will never pay off in any meaningful way in the long run. Hopefully he’ll end up working at McDonalds soon. I can’t wait for that day.
Coolest Mr. Rogers video EVER! I mean, the guy was creepy to begin with. Any grown man that plays with finger puppets like that (and doesn’t work for Henson) is just a closeted child molester. I’m pretty convinced of it. Today is the beginning of the end for me… I just called Mr. Rogers a child molester I think.
Isla Fisher prancing on a beach in a swimsuit…
Have you seen Wedding Crashers? If you have… tell me there wasn’t something crazy awesome about her character in that movie, if you say no, you’re gay. Period. Okay, so she was completely psycho… but psycho in a hot way. Awesome. The world needs more hot redheaded nyphos… end of story. I’m pretty certain it’d bring peace to the middle east.
Kristen Bell hangs out on the beach in a bikini, the gods are smiling on us!
I don’t know about you… but Heroes really is a great show. Mainly because it has Hayden Panetteire and Kristen Bell on it. Now I’m not sure what it’s going to take for the producers of the show to realize that the best thing they could ever do to further the story would be to have a lesbian orgy with Kristen Bell, Hayden Panettiere, and Ali Larter, y’know… for the story. I think most stories would benefit from such things actually. Take Hamlet for instance… just throw a lesbo orgy in there and BAM… story’s 1500% better at least. Who needs prose and all that fruity talkin’?
Click the image for the larger view…
Someone actually posted this to Craigslist. I’m not big on Craigslist to be honest. I don’t have much need for used imaginary animals and don’t need a casual encounter with a 6′4″ tranny. So what use is it? I mean, you can buy tons of used crap there… parooze the personals… but if we’ve lost it to the point of putting a pegasus up for adoption, I mean come on!
Shawn Johnson attempts to steal Alicia Sacramone’s soul…
There are a few things during the Olympics that really bother me. First… “women’s gymnastics”… the fact of the matter is, it’s little girls. For instance, Shawn Johnson… she’s like 16, and a midget. It’s a horrible day when I have to sit there and wonder about whether or not I have to feel like a dirty old man for perving on this girl or that girl. As such, I’d prefer they be 18 to compete in the Olympics. Less confusion and less guilt for all!
Second… while everyone has their suspicions about the Chinese team and the fact that they’re like 14 years old. I personally have my suspicions about Shawn Johnson. While she seems like a nice girl… there’s a bit of a problem. Am I the only person that thinks she’s a chipmunk in disguise? Perhaps some sort of mutant half-breed of human and chipmunk? There’s one easy way to find out of course… hold up an acorn while she’s performing. If she runs over, grabs it from you and runs away after stuffing it in her mouth… she’s a chipmunk. So not only should the girls be at least 18, but I think it’s the responsible thing as a nation to make sure we’re not sending any rodents to the Olympics as well.
Alicia Sacramone knocking a dude the eff out! USA! USA! USA!
Well, that’s it for the week… I’ll end this one with a picture of Alicia Sacramone… the hottest gymnast who repeatedly fell on her ass.
