Trebuchet Midgets?
Wednesday Web RoundupAuthor: James Disney
The world is a wonderful place… so says the song, but what makes the world wonderful? Midgets. I guess we can include dwarves in this list too. But either way “little people” of all sorts, whether they be from the Midgitus Ohgodhewalksfunnyus family or the Dwarveitus Hahahahalookathisbigheadus families (that’s latin, by the way) are magical beings, created by God for our amusement. Don’t believe me… read on!
So here you are… a discussion between myself and Luke… where we discuss God’s greatest gift to humanity (next to Luke and I of course)… midgets (well, mainly dwarves).
(2:54:26 PM) Luke: and what’s the water fire walk through attraction?
(2:55:37 PM) James Disney: Poseidon’s Fury
(2:55:56 PM) James Disney: I could’ve said “Dick Fart’s Revenge”
(2:56:20 PM) Luke: that would’ve been a better name
(2:58:49 PM) James Disney: I agree
(3:01:55 PM) Luke: btw, i’ve decided that i’m ok with them building the intamin banger looper
(3:02:12 PM) Luke: but only if they make a modification so there is a sweet ass extended dark ride section before the lift hill
(3:02:16 PM) Luke: that would be f*ckin badass
(3:02:34 PM) Luke: with like sweetass explosions and dwarves owning sh*t
(3:03:36 PM) Luke: not into the explosions and dwarves owning sh*t?
(3:05:16 PM) James Disney: How about exploding dwarves
(3:05:23 PM) Luke: i’m ok with that
(3:05:29 PM) James Disney: The world doesn’t have enough of that
(3:05:29 PM) Luke: but it would be better if it was like pslash mountain
(3:05:31 PM) Luke: and then coaster
(3:05:40 PM) James Disney: And exploding dwarves
(3:05:43 PM) James Disney: Full of win
(3:05:49 PM) Luke: something tells me that’s not gonna happen at disney world
(3:05:51 PM) Luke: but i wouldn’t hate it
(3:05:56 PM) James Disney: Like think of how it’d improve so many things
(3:06:01 PM) James Disney: Jungle Cruise…
(3:06:06 PM) James Disney: add kaboom dwarf
(3:06:12 PM) James Disney: Instantly 500% better
(3:06:59 PM) James Disney: I’m really stuck on this idea of little people going boom
(3:07:08 PM) James Disney: Like everything’s so much funnier when it’s a midget
(3:07:14 PM) Luke: lol
(3:07:28 PM) James Disney: Could you imagine a midget terrorist… you could never take ‘em serious
(3:07:38 PM) Luke: i could
(3:07:49 PM) Luke: i’d take em serious with a f*ckin croquet mallet
(3:07:52 PM) Luke: how fun does that sound
(3:07:57 PM) Luke: it would be like walk a mole
(3:08:00 PM) James Disney: YES!
(3:08:04 PM) Luke: but croquet a midget
(3:08:05 PM) James Disney: I do that anyways
(3:08:15 PM) James Disney: carry sticks around just to poke ‘em in the head
(3:08:20 PM) James Disney: their big ugly heads
(3:08:23 PM) Luke: nono, i mean the mallet end
(3:08:27 PM) James Disney: But that is cooler
(3:08:31 PM) Luke: yeah
(3:08:36 PM) Luke: or imagine something even more badass
(3:08:43 PM) Luke: like using them as trebuchet fodder
(3:09:16 PM) James Disney: Dude… tie ‘em together… like string 4 or 5 together… add trebuchet… instant hilarity
(3:09:21 PM) Luke: word
(3:09:29 PM) Luke: especially if the trebuchet breaks and just points down
(3:09:36 PM) Luke: and they whip around and just smack the grass
(3:09:45 PM) James Disney: YES
(3:09:52 PM) James Disney: lol, oh god, I nearly just sh*t
(3:09:58 PM) Luke: like they’re all wearing helmets and goggles and wings and sh*t like they’re going to fly away
(3:09:59 PM) Luke: and then
(3:10:01 PM) Luke: GROUNDSMACK
(3:10:03 PM) James Disney: Just imagine the “THWOP” sound
(3:10:12 PM) Luke: this could be a new band
(3:10:15 PM) Luke: GROUNDSMACK
(3:10:21 PM) James Disney: Trebuchet Midgets?
(3:10:56 PM) James Disney: I wonder if they’d bounce…
Yes… pure magic. On to other stories and boobs…
So Hurricane Ike rolled through and did some damage to Texas. I’d like to thank Tina Turner for staying away from Houston or the damage would’ve probably been infinitely worse. As is these poor fish got totally boned by the storm!
Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator
So okay… I know that’s a picture of Tina Fey… but let’s face facts: Tina Fey is hotter than Sarah Palin. There will be no further discussion on the subject. Moving on!
Megan Fox… in GQ… all you need to know: “Teenage Lesbian Crush”
So yes, apparently in her late teens Megan Fox fell in love with a Russian stripper… a FEMALE Russian stripper. Yes, she even made attempts to try and woo the object of her desire… alas, the love was unrequited. Regardless of all this… that sound you just heard was the collective sound of millions of men getting boners at even the idea of Megan Fox bein’ all gay on another chick. See, when she does it… it’s hot cause she wanted a stripper. When Lindsay Lohan does it… it’s with some fug-ass chick who looks like a dude. Advantage Megan Fox.
The world needs more Marissa Miller
Marissa Miller is hot… like, not just hot… but like so hot, kissing her is like trying to kiss lava. You’ll die… you will f*cking burst into flames and f*cking die. I sh*t you not. Look at that picture and tell me you didn’t get at least a little tingly in the shorts. (Remember, if you answer no: YOU’RE GAY! Sorry, I know that probably feels awkward… but it’ll be really awkward when you have to tell your parents and friends.)
Mila Kunis (this one’s for Luke)
So Luke is obsessed with Mila Kunis. You may ask yourself “With women like Marissa Miller in this world is there really a need for Mila Kunis?” In Luke’s world the answer is yes. My world… I’m just looking for the perfect ham and cheese sandwich… and a midget willing to be part of a trebuchet experiment… and Marissa Miller. Luke… he’s more concerned with playing tag with waves (yes… it is what it sounds like), eating a well made burrito… and Mila Kunis. So enjoy…
Well… hopefully I’ve managed to waste a few minutes of your time… and I hope you enjoyed it…
-J
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