PLK: Employee Party of DOOM!
I’m jumping ahead a bit to the end of the summer season, but bear with me. I want to save some of the better stuff for last.
So, I barely survived my one and only season at Happy Ancient Egypt Land, and it was time to attend the annual Employee Party. At first, I wasn’t interested in going. After all, why should I go to a party celebrating a park that put numerous people (including myself) in the Emergency Room?
The real selling point on the flyer was unlimited rides on the Go-Karts. I figured, “Hey, I have the chance to do donuts legally tonight, why not?”
PLK: Bullying little kids is fun!
In the last article, I went over the bases. Set up the location, and all the back-story of how a park actually came around to hiring a walking lawsuit like me. This one is going into the worst ’security’ incident I ever had at “Happy Ancient Egypt Land.”
When you become a Lead at this park, you essentially take on every position imaginable, yet still get paid minimum wage. As you can imagine, there’s not much incentive to actually do your job, other than the ability to boss people around, kick people you don’t like out of the park, and take really long, frequent breaks.
PLK: And so it begins…
Yep, kiddies. I’m back with a whole new round of the “Dysfunctional Park” series. Same old antics, new park.
*NOTE: The names in this story have been changed not to protect the identity of those involved, but rather to cover my butt from a libel suit.
Back in the Spring of 2001, I decided it was time to get another job at an amusement park. Since I don’t live close enough to any of the larger parks, I decided to go back to my roots and work for a small family fun center named “Happy Ancient Egypt Land” in Radlands, California.
“Happy Ancient Egypt Land” seemed like the perfect park to work at. There were plenty of newer rides (as opposed to the 40-year old attractions at Santa’s Village), lots of hot chicks working there, and some really nice views of the female lifeguards at the water park.
Back to the Future - Part IV
Okay, everyone. I have a major announcement. I have successfully created the world’s first time machine! After watching Back to the Future for the 5 millionth time, I finally got it! The secret was in the Flux Capacitor! So, I broke out my Tinker Toys, and built me one, slapped it on a garbage can, and traveled to the future. This is that story.
My first stop in the timeline was the year 2011. Read More
The Disney Effect
Wednesday, December 5th, 2001 marks a very special day for the massive Disney family. It’s the Centennial of Walter Elias Disney’s birth; good ol’ Uncle Walt.
On that day, friends, relatives, and millions of people he never knew, would celebrate the man, the legend, and most importantly… the promise of Walt’s Dream. A world so perfect. A world void of time, famine, plague, and these days, war.
Walt left the world a legacy that could never be rivaled in all of human history. He brought the world a place to escape from life. A place where an 80 year-old woman can become a youthful princess, and a little boy can travel to the far depths of space. If Disneyland is the place of dreams, then Walt was Mr. Sandman. He put all of America to a sweet, peaceful sleep while singing her a soft lullaby.