MrRiverizon, on Jul 5 2008, 09:34 AM, said:
Yes... they should've waited longer to open it.
My randomness...
Last night we went to a dance recital for my youngest cousin... she's seven, and having us there would mean a lot to her... so we went. Getting there was all well and good ran into my uncle, shared some disgustingly inappropriate banter and waited for everyone to show up. The surprise was that my aunt and her ex-husband/current boyfriend showed up. Family is family, but this woman is one of those that you can't really trust... which is sad, because she can be nice when she wants to be. Her ex-husband/current boyfriend (long, long story) is salt of the earth awesome. No bullshit, what you see is what you get. I dig that.
So we head in, find our seats right up front and let the show begin! This is when all hell broke loose!
"GO LIZZIE!!!" "YEAH AMY WE LOVE YOU!!!" "GO ASHLEY!!!"
WHAT. THE. F*CK!
All at once what seemed to be a thousand voices (there was maybe only 400 people here) rang out their words of encouragement to their precious little snowflakes. Snowflakes that can't dance their way out of a paper bag... I drew more enjoyment when they'd screw up and face plant. I'm pretty sure some of the parents behind us didn't enjoy my enjoyment of their child's misfortune, but whatever, f*ck them... their kid is over-rated and dumb.
Between most all the groups dancing the voices shouted out to their little snowflakes. And through most of the routines... their over-rated little snowflakes proved that most kids have absolutely zero talent. But I began to shout out my own encouragement. Being that this was an all-female (sexist bastards) dance recital... I would yell words of encouragement to "Fred"... or "Hortence"... and occasionally I'd just go "HUFFFURRUFUURRFUURR." But by the end of it I could't contain myself and I yelled "My precious snowflake is better than your precious snowflake!" Thankfully, I wasn't the only one... by the end of it all there was a guy in the back that just let out a loud "HUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR!!!" sound that I equate to being similar to a moose call... it was awesome.
The moral of the story... it's cool to be a good parent and be proud of your kid. But if you for one second think yelling their name before they take the stage in a dance recital will keep them from making an absolute retarded fool of themselves... you're wrong. VERY, VERY WRONG... and not only are you wrong... but you sound like an ass in the process. Do all of us a favor... shut up... stop pushing your kid to do sh*t that you were never successful at and want to experience success through them. Just because you're a failure doesn't mean you get to put too much makeup on a six-year-old and make them dance to "Low" by Flo-rida. (Yeah... it happened... I died a little inside...)
It's stuff like this that makes me want to have most people sterilized. Thankfully, my little cousin carries the same family trait most of my family has... and that is one of concentration... one where we just go out and do our sh*t and be done with it... and if you yell out our name obnoxiously like that, we're more likely to get stabby on ya than anything else. Thankfully, all she needs to know she's loved and appreciated is a hug and a "Good job, kiddo!" afterwards... thank god.


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