Disneyland Resort Update: Pirates, Pixar, Parking, and Porgs*

Disneyland Resort, Anaheim, CA

* No Porgs in this update; I just needed an alliterative capper.  For Porgs, see this update.

Oh man... Albert's gonna regret going to New York and leaving me to this mess. So today we're going to take a tour of the Didnerlann Resort where I guess some stuff is happening, I dunno... do I look like a scientist? I don't know anything. Let's get to it because this update is probably going to take over the next 4 hours of your life. 

Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge

I'm still wondering about the mechanics of edging an entire galaxy, but here we are... the land is speeding towards its 2019 opening and so that means they're doing stuff and putting things where things go and turning on little bits and making them twinkle or not twinkle depending on what they're supposed to do. 

Here’s a street… this is not a Star War.

Here’s a box with a Star War inside

This too is a street and not a Star War

Nor is this brown box a star war…

But this… this is a Star War container.

These rocks are kind of a star war…

Did you know these things are actually assembled using IKEA instructions…

Insert slat A into hole B and BAM… insta-Star War.

From inside a Disnerland…

Okay, seriously though… this is impressive.

The scale against the redone back end of the Rivers of America is snazzy… it’s actually quite pretty.

Almost as if they took the river into account when designing this…

Is that a dome-y bit?

Pixar's Pinocchio Pal-A-Round and Friends and Friends and Associates Parking Structure Featuring Marvel Motorpool and Other Acquired Licenses

Prepare your body for some parking porn... 

DIIIIIRRRRRRRT

MOAR DIIIIIRRRRRRTTTTT

Noodz…

Here at Westcoaster we contribute to the “Noodz for Guy Selga” cause… and if you’re a good person, you should send Guy noodz.

A rampy bit

More noodz

GROUND LEVEL DIIIIIRRRRT

Okay, this is dumb, let’s move on.

Downtown Disney Improvements

Downtown Disney is being improved by closing down dumb stuff... like... wait... ESPN Zone? Movies... Earl of Sammiches... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Where am I supposed to drink beer and watch a sports and then eat a sammich before seeing a movie NOW?! Disney is ruining my life... 

Wait... what's that? Oh, that's right, I don't even go to the movies here. And I haven't been to ESPN Zone in at least 10 years... and I hate standing in line for a sandwich... 

I PISS ON YOUR GRAVE ESPN ZONE, MOVIE THEATERS AND EARL OF SAMMICH!

No more burgers and such for you.

Beer go here…

Improvements? I guess.

Are they building a dorito on the building?

Pixar Pier Progress

Ah yes, the project that is a solution in search of a problem. Pixar Pier... or "Oh crap, we're building Marvel stuff so we better find a way to keep Pixar in the park..." I'm personally very torn on all of this. It feels unnecessary. Let's face facts, if they really wanted to win me over, they'd restore Paradise Pier to the... well, paradise that it was on opening day as Walt Disney himself wanted it. No peace until Mali-burritos comes back. 

It’s so… red. Could’ve called it Baboon-Ass Land.

Here is the portal into a land so incomprehensibly put together it feels like they had the lead designer of the stupid Fallon ride at Universal Orlando consult.

The Pixar characters on the shade structure is actually a nice touch though.

RED

From another angle.

Wait… what’s this…

Jesus, what a god damn mess… clean up after yourselves.

This box does not contain a star war…

The Incredicoaster… allegedly going to be ready soon?

Not going to be ready soon.

Also not going to be ready soon… safe assumption that this entire project was woefully mis-managed. Hate to be a negative ninny here… but man, with the sort of precision project management happening on Galaxy’s Edge, this is basically the opposite of that.

The entrance to the coaster…

New shade structures in the queue…

Design nods from things in Incredibles 2…

But um… isn’t this opening super soon? Doesn’t feel very finished.

This thing… yikes.

So recently World of Color tried to kill itself…

So for now it looks like the damage might not be as horrific as was expected.

Basically one of the electrical vaults flooded, causing the entire table to bend out of shape… but from here, it doesn’t look too bad.

And then there’s this “Pixar-Pal-Around”… which might be the weirdest name ever.

The cars now have Pixar characters on them…

A look at more things that won’t open on time…

I really want all of this to be very nice… but it’s just so mish-mashed… and the fact that most of the pier won’t even reopen with the coaster, it’s just so odd.

Incredicoaster is testing too!

I’m very intrigued by the effects being installed in the tunnels.

Here it is doin’ a zoom…

This dude… he’s chill.

Miscellaneous Resort News

Here, look at these random things... DO IT... LOOK AT IT. 

Pirates of the Caribbean Reopens

So Disney changed a few things in Pirates... because reasons. Here's how it do... 

As with anything… you close something, everyone and their mother has to show up for one “last ride.” Now that it’s open, everyone has to rush to be the first to see what happened. Then they all take to the internet and write about how much they hate it.

LOOK AT THAT DUMB BIRB

Pirates… see, they still have pirates.

This is still there.

As is this…

There’s even a thingy here now…

It does a heckin’ bamboozle too…

The new scene with the talking “Red” is up and running too.

Now she’s a pirate or something because okay.

We still wants the redhead…

One of the weird parts about all of this is the new walk-around character for Red. They haven’t had the auctioneer, captain, mayor, etc… nope. But they’re twisting themselves in knots to make this a thing. It’s an odd choice. But there are bigger hills to die on…

Albert left placeholder text here that just said "Conclusion."  I conclude that Disneyland is indeed a theme park full of stuff. I conclude that In 'n' Out is better than Five Guys, Shake Shack and/or Smashburger. I conclude that more people need to contribute to "Noodz for Guy Selga." But mostly I conclude that Albert needs to not leave me to write updates because nothing good ever comes from it. 

That is all... be good humans. GOO BAH!