Albert's gonna regret this one... yes, it's me, your lord and master, Jim... I'm back whether anyone likes it or not. Probably not. Hell, I show up at my mom's place from time to time and she's like "Ugh, dammit... you again?!?" Well, here we are. Might as well not fight it, it hurts less if you don't struggle... that's what my uncle told me.
So let's get to it. Last Thursday, Knott's invited us (we're wondering why too) to party and celebrate the opening of their latest not-B&M hyper coaster, HangTime. BUT I'M NOT BITTER, OKAY!! Built by Gerstmattlaurer, HangTime features track, cars and exactly zero pigeons. The latter is a horrific oversight. But there are twinkle lights attached to the track and they do whatever it is lights do to things when it's dark outside. Oh, and there are some flippy parts too. Y'know, like after you do the zoomy part and you do a flippy thing. Yeah, that. And it does it over 9000 times.
By now you might be wondering "Jim, is this for real? Are you serious?" Well, dear reader... yes, dead-ass Dixie Chicks serious as the bunion on your grandma's big toe. It does flippy stuff. And there's a zoomy part. And yes, there are some freakin' twinkle lights. (Look, I'm just here to make you want Albert's writing and photography more.) Okay, let's end the suffering and get to the best photos this site has seen in years...
Welp... that's really all I have to say about that. The ride is super fun... as are many other things at Knott's Berry Farm. So go out there, put your butt on the ride and enjoy it. Because if you don't enjoy it, you're never ever ever ever ever ever never allowed to read Westcoaster again. And after this update, I don't blame you if you don't want to anyway.
For those wondering about the incredible quality of these stunning images and how Dan was able to capture the majesty of this new steel beast in such amazing detail. All the photos in this update were actually shot on the first digital camera we used for Westcoaster. The seemingly invincible HP 315.
Peas out... GOO BAH!
Photos by Dan Angona
Words by Alan Smithee
Drunk Llamas by Llamas R Us
Twerking Ice Cream Cone. Velociraptor. 5 Time Squirrel Herding Champion. Super Hero.